Customer: “How much for this dog?” Dog dealer: “$5000” Customer:” Isn’t that too much?” Dog dealer: “Is not the dog wonderful?” Customer: “Yes, the dog may be too wonderful but is he faithful also?” Dog dealer: “Yes sir!…

    An elderly gentleman in his 90s goes to the doctor and says: “ Doc, you have to help me lower my sex drive! “   The doctor looks at him with a smile and says, “ You know…

    Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?   Great food but no atmosphere.

    An old lady walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey with 2 drops of water, after a while she orders the same, a double whiskey with 2 drops of water .   The third time she…

    Even though O’Malley was a licensed scuba diver, he finally got an answer to a question that had annoyed him for decades. Here it is. Harold, an American tourist, asked his friend Murphy, ‘Why do Scuba divers always…

    Three men were driving in the desert when their car broke down. They decided to walk to the nearest town. Before they left, they agreed on taking one part from the car that would be useful to them.…

    A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed…

  I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

    A Doctor, who couldn’t find a job at a local clinic decided to open his own and puts a sign outside ‘Get treatment for 30 dollars – If not cured get back 150 dollars.’   A vigilant American…

    Walking into the bar, Shamus said to O’Heir the bartender, ‘Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman.’   ‘O, bejabbers,’ said O’Heir, ‘And how did this one end?’   ‘Hah, when…

    A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran…

    What do you get when you cross a shamrock and a jogger?? Answer: a run of good luck!    

09   Out in space, two aliens are talking to each other. The first alien says, “The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons.” The second alien asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?” The first alien…

    Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d want to have with dinner.