An eight year old girl went to the office with her father on “Take Your Kid to Work Day”. As they were walking around the office, the young girl started crying and getting very cranky.  Her father asked her what…

  A grasshopper sits down at a bar. The bartender says, “we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper replies, “who names a drink ‘Steve’”?

  Boss says to his employee “Do you believe in life after death?” employee replies “Of course not it’s yet to be proven” Boss says “Well you better start believing, after you left work yesterday for your uncle’s funeral he…

  Why do we tell actors to “break A leg”? Because every play has a cast.

  Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes. “That was a really nice thing to do,”…

  Michael Buble is producing a new rap album. It’s called” Bubble wrap”

  What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet? A beer in each hand.

  A man is reading a book on Marriage says and comes across this,  “treat your Wife, like you treated her on your First Date.   So after Dinner tonight, I am dropping her off at her Parents House.

  A lady approaches her neighbor across the street and tells him “when you make love you should close the curtains”. last night the whole street was standing and watching you guys. The neighbor replies… what are you talking about???…

  Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Ontario Technology University, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”   The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000…

  Two explorers, camped in the heart of the African jungle, were discussing their expedition. “I came here,” said one, “because the urge to travel was in my blood. City life bored me, and the smell of exhaust fumes on…

  Reporter say’s to the old man:  Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101 ? Man: For better digestion, I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine. For low…

  A little old lady at on her porch on her rocking chair one evening and her faithful cat was curled up on the rug beside her.   Suddenly there was a Poof! and a godmother fairy, complete with a wand,…

  A man walks into a psychologist’s office and tells the doctor, “Doc, you gotta help me! I keep thinking I’m a dog”. The Psychologist tells the man, “oaky, come over here and lie down on the couch and I’ll…

  It was a sunny Saturday morning, a little before 8 a.m., I was on the first hole at the local golf club and beginning my pre-shot routine, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: “Would the gentleman…