A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says,”The parrot on the left costs $500 dollars.” “Why does the parrot cost so much?”…
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn’t spread it.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
At breakfast, the husband says to his wife, “What would you do if I won the Lotto.” “I’d take my half and leave you” she says. Great he says. “Here’s $6. I won $12 yesterday! Stay in…
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.
Sally asked her mother “Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time?” Her mother looked over to her husband and said “No, sometimes they start with Honey I was delayed at the office
A weasel wakes into a bar and sits down. The bartender looks at him and says ‘what can I get you to drink?’ “Pop’ goes the weasel.
My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange” I said: “No it doesn’t”
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words ‘complete’ and ‘finished’ in a way that’s so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation.…
Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger were each invited to a costume party for which they had to dress in costume as their favorite Classical Music Composer. Stallone noted, “Yo – I think I’m gonna…
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?? Boo boos
Why should you never marry a tennis player? Answer: Love means nothing to them.
A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a drink, but the barkeep said, “Sorry, but we don’t serve mushrooms.” The mushroom replies, “Why, I’m a fun guy !?”
A man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart” Is this her first child? asks the Doctor. “No” he shouts, “ this is her husband”.